Skip to main content

Featured

A Question That Came on a Good Day

Today a question suddenly appeared in my mind. It was actually a good day It’s a fasting month day even though i’m not fasting lol but the atmosphere still felt calm, soft, and warm.  This is my fifth day in a row (with him) together with no space in between, five days of constant presence.  And suddenly it becomes a good week <3 - I once heard people say that  “Love should never feel hard if it feels hard maybe it isn’t love.”  i kind of agree… or at least i want to. So when love starts to feel heavy, i always starting to questioning everything. Something small happened yesterday but it opened an old memory. Two years ago i asked my boyfriend for a plushie, just a plushie (or not 'just'). He couldn’t buy it for some reason and i get it why, soo i bought him one (so i wouldn’t feel guilty for asking) for proofing that not because couldn’t afford it, but because i wanted it to come from him. i wanted to feel chosen, not supplied. - Later, he told me that if i want ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Happy bday

 I've been feeling anxious lately 

struggling with feeling not enough for someone i really care about :(

felt like everything deficient, nothing seems goes right, no matter how hard i tried, its like universe had other plans for me, pushing me into frustration and wait till moment pass.


but i remember that i have this special person that always present. 

and it really really matter




2 days ago - 18th of September 

That night he came all the way accross the city after work just to see me (so lovely)

we had sushi in bintaro as our dinner and grab some tea at mcd.

i opened up about my feeling unsure if i was enough and ask for thoughts ofcourse 

gave him some time for reassurance for his response and discuss what best for us.


Yesterday - 19th of September

The weather was perfect a gentle breez and clear skies.

but my heart was felt like there a storm inside.

As usual my man was busy for his work (my charismatic man) 

and he invited me for his bday event at his house, 

but i couldnt shake the guilt cuz i feel bad for everyhting especially for being me :(

so instead we have some perfectly deal that i came to grand indonesia, he had some corporate dinner there so we can met early and we can blow out the candle and make a wish together.

he can handle me well even when no one else can.


Happy birthday to the most perfect person i know 

wishes you all the best 

and may the wishes we made while blowing out the candle this year come thru

i cant wait to celebrate the years come with you and

i am sorry i haven't been the best version of my self but i will keep up striving






Email Post

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts