Perfect Weekend

The sun has just set here and the sky is still glowing with soft shades of orange casting a warm touch over the evening

the weather today was nearly perfect just like my day \almost\ 

but then something happened, something that changed the way i feel

i realized that i don’t really like expectations especially when they make me hope for something that doesn’t happen. 

a strange feelin (something heavy in my chest) when reality doesn’t match what was promised

it’s not just about plans getting canceled or things not going as expected; it’s about trust \it starts to shake\.

then the fear follows 

\what if everything else they’ve said could also end up this way?\

 \what if every promise every invitation and every dream they’ve shared with me could just disappear, replaced by something else?\

 i hate thinking about it and it makes me sad. 

if this hadn't happened in the first place i wouldn't be this sad

maybe i would perfectly be fine

or i might not even feel anything?

i have the right feel to sad don’t i? 

to feel disappointed when something i expected doesn’t happen? 

maybe it’s not about something big or maybe it’s just a small promise that slipped away

but still it hurts :(

maybe I need to learn not to expect too much?

ik for some words are just words

but?